So I learned, I will be working on a new topic for undergraduate thesis. I think this is the 4th I am changing one. I guess I would have to postpone the Bohol trip for the mean time. I just don't deserve to have a vacation at the moment. After the unsuccessful trials on the first three topics? No. But I am more positive that regardless of what topic is assigned to me, I got it in the bag. No other degree-less human being on that institute is more knowledgeable of x-rays than me. I practically breathe x-rays every friggin' day. So cheers to 2013 graduation! And I would've scheduled my out of country vacation by then. Boom!
Video for the day!
"Villages" by Alpine. This is pretty awesome in a freaky way.
I was reading this article (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/05/120515094136.htm) about a condensed matter physics breakthrough called topological insulators which mainly focused on the material Bismuth Selenide, which according to the article has yet the lowest electron-phonon coupling even when approaching room temperature. And then all the way to the end part, a potentially major discovery by a group of Chinese scientists is mentioned. A superconductor material is layered onto the surface of the topological insulator and theoretically you create a particle that is its own antiparticle. Now that's sick! I just needed it published here to remind myself that one day, as a much improved and matured scientist, I will probably have to deal with this topological insulators myself. And I needed to remember the name of the new particle, "Majorana fermions". I wonder who came up with the name? It's not very flattering.
(Image Lifted from http://www.mnn.com/sites/default/files/MajoranaFermion_main_0416.jpg )
As an opening remark, I just want to address some people who managed to ruin an otherwise remarkable and self-fulfilling day. Dude, if you want to have fun, go have fun! But don't shove your brand of fun into other people's throat! I am frankly disappointed that we are living in an environment conducive to all kinds of preferences and yet some of you still manage to be insensitive self-serving idiots!
There you have it, my ultra-negative rant for the day. But other than that, I had a self-rediscovery or maybe self-realization day. For the past few days, I have been very lethargic, lazy, sad maybe, totally spaced out, tired, irritable, a little sick probably. But there has been something bothering me already that have been very difficult for me to see that I would often resort to smoking, drinking coffee too much, jogging unscheduled-ly, and sleep like log in random places and at random time. But I knew I wanted to be sick. I wanted to get drunk. I wanted to get tired from a dance central arcade. I knew I wanted something new to get me energized but I just didn't knew how.
So, today, out of all the randomness that had happened or I forced to happen for the last couple of days, I found myself crying and laughing, all at the same time with some of my very close friends and colleagues. We were going to want to hear from an ate about what's been bothering her lately because she too seemed irritable. She denied or chose to not burden us with the knowing but she burst into tears. And then another ate burst into tears. And then the next thing I know I burst into tears as well. But we were laughing!
After that little hormonal outburst, it felt good. I realized I made it a goal for the summer to take care of my physical health but I forgot to take care of my emotional health. You see, I've been tired, I've been frustrated and I've been sad. But it all didn't seem to matter when I had tasks that needed my taking care of: thesis experiments, paperworks, errands, paperworks. It wasn't when I haven't been getting success at my thesis experiments. I have been walking from building to building for days. I have been sleeping late. I haven't been opening my readings. I've been harboring all this heavy emotions and I didn't even have the slightest hint of their existence. But the frustration, the fatigue, exhaustion, and loneliness, it all culminated into this small round-table gathering of people close to me, crying and laughing, all at the same time. But like I said, I never felt better.
As an ending to this crazy story, I wanna share a cool Bobby McFerrin video I found a few days ago titled "Don't Worry, Be Happy"; and highlight the line, "In every life we have some trouble, but when you worry you make it double." Here it is:
