Two steps to recovery

Just a thought.

Gosh! Reading all these previous posts makes me feel like they're written by a psycho version of me. I certainly wouldn't want to be around that kind of person. hahahaha

Thinking this way signals that I may be fine soon

Read more...

Around Angkor Wat by Bike - Day 2

Staring into a very rare sunset
in Nowhere, Cambodia

NOWHERE, CAMBODIA — Two days in, and Oh gawd, I was so sick of temples already!

Hiro and I were coming to the end of a very long Angkor Wat Day 2 Tour (aka The Big Loop Tour). We've been biking since daybreak and I don't exercise; so guess what's on the other side of that equation.

Eccentric and adventurous as always, I suggested getting as far away from the ENORMOUS, ENORMOUS amount of people inside the complex as we can to end what has been an awesome day so far.

We studied the map we had and there seemed like an island called West Mebon in the middle of a lake to the outside west of the Angkor Wat Complex. (Or at least that's what the map showed.) We saw the East Mebon the previous day, it was charming and we even saw it again this morning during sunrise. At this point we were intrigued as to how a western counterpart would look like.

Also, we've been pedaling all day. Catching a sunset by the lake didn't sound so bad at all.

So, westward we biked!

West Mebon, an island in the West Baray Lake, is west to the Angkor Wat Temple Complex.
By the map alone, you would trust that it's a developed section of the Angkor Wat experience.
(map source: Angkor Tourist Guide)

Even before getting out of the complex, we were tested immediately by dirt roads. Despite the dusts relentless in devouring whatever they encounter, it was nothing we can't handle since the road was still straightforward and flat.

Until it wasn't.

We got out of the complex. The road started winding. We started getting lost. Naturally, I am very good with directions but the map we picked up back at the hostel was not so helpful. It wasn't the most sophisticated map I ever had to read, after all. So, we asked around.

No one spoke English.

That moment we knew—we were on our own to figure out where the fuck we were and where the fuck to go.

It took us a little while—after a number of trial-and-errors, back-and-forts, left-and-rights—braving through dirt roads, unknown paths and corners that weren't even on the map before getting to a monk village. We asked where West Mebon was and they pointed us to the direction of a nearby lake.

Finally.

Right then, so much excitement took over me and I suppose Hiro as well. It took so much from us who were already beat up all day biking to begin with just to get there. We deserved to sit on a boat. We deserved that boat to be cruising on a lake. And we deserved that lake to be glowing gold as the sun sets and we make our way to that island, the intriguing West Mebon. We just had to finally get through rows and rows of bushes and trees and that's it—tension builds up, excitement escalates.

Boom!

Falling action here goes rather rapidly.

There was nothing there!

No people. No tourists. There was an island in the middle of the lake but no boat goes in.

No nothing.

Nada.

So we had to be content. The journey so long ended in a muddy lakeside where you can't even sit on.

Surprisingly, it was difficult to get upset. We woke up at a very early part of the day because we wanted to see the sunrise over Angkor Wat. We got up against bodily wishes to stay in bed. We raced through a busy Angkor Wat traffic to get ahead of the tourist pack. We even had to bribe indiscreet temple staff to climb up the top of the centermost temple for the ultimate viewing spot, only to be greeted by a very grim cloudy morning. Three days in Siem Reap and this would have been another one when the skies have just been very unwelcoming.

Yet, there we were, a full period of daylight after, breathing of contentment at the clear sky rapidly becoming crimson as the day came to a close.

The journey to nowhere wasn't such a disappointment after all.

A pair of bikes and the sunset by the lake.

Read more...

Airport drama: the miserable kind

This is a series of journal entries I kept when I made that random trip around Indochina. I went on a weekend holiday for my birthday, but I ended up heart--I wouldn't say broken but I was extremely lonely. So I ditched my flight back home and went on a backpacking trip. Here are the accounts...

Previously: Random Birthday (Valentine) Trip to Thailand

Well, I guess that's it!

I'm sitting on a bench inside Suvarnabhumi Airport, a few miles outside Bangkok, a few hours past noon, crying.

My flight back home is not until the following morning. But I'm here. I'm here because I have nowhere else to go. Misha and I had a fight that I walked out of. Well, it's much more complicated than it sounds.

I've been upset since the day I arrived. He was sick, of some fever, when i came. No one was there to pick me up from anywhere. That was fine because I completely understood. It wasn't his fault that he was sick. We actually had to spend my birthday and Valentine's day between the hospital and his apartment. Totally understood. Not that I really care about my birthday, or Valentine's day for that matter. It's just another random day in another random year.

IT'S FINE. I UNDERSTAND. IT ISN'T HIS FAULT.

Somehow this has become the mood for the next three days. It was all fine by me. I wanted to be there for him. It felt like a turning point for our relationship--one challenge that we storm through and then we'll love each other more by the end of it. What I failed to grasp was how distant and cold he was. He was very noncommittal to all the efforts I've put forward to making our short period together special.

Then it came out--one time at a dinner, he has somehow randomly mentioned a "friend" he has been meeting for the past few weeks.

I tried to brush aside the jealousy. It might have been nothing. It had to be nothing! After all, I was the one there with him at that moment. So I shouldn't let some stranger ruin our time together. But he kept being distant. I've grown weary as the days went by. My frustration was growing. I had to ask. I had to confront. I NEEDED TO KNOW.

Or maybe not.

The truth came rushing to me at an unrelenting violence. What I dreaded from the beginning was now unfolding its ugly shape in front of me. He has been sleeping with that "friend". I knew this was all going to happen. I knew that he will fall for someone else. I knew that we were not meant for each other. I've always known. Denial fought acceptance. That caused my insides to feel as if they were coming out of me. I needed air so I don't choke. That air seemed far away from him. I had to leave.

So much for romantic getaways. Now here I am in the middle of a crowded airport--a busy and uncaring airport.

I'm here. I'm lonely. I 'm miserable. Can't you see tears gushing out of me?

Well, I guess that's it.

To be continued...

Read more...

Random Birthday (Valentine) Trip to Thailand

This is a series of journal entries I kept when I made that random trip around Indochina. I went on a weekend holiday for my birthday, but I ended up heart--I wouldn't say broken but I was extremely lonely. So I ditched my flight back home and went on a backpacking trip. Here are the accounts.

I learned in November last year that Misha is back in Thailand. I was pleasantly surprised. He invited me to come over. I couldn't.

Misha is a Russian guy I met over a year ago when I attended a synchrotron conference in Thailand. He was an expatriate who's lived there for well over two years. We went on a few dates and he made my stay very extraordinary considering it was my first time out of the country and I was alone. I really liked him but I had to go back home. It was excruciating--I cried at the airport.

Well, it was meant to be a summer romance, anyways--two people meeting in a foreign land, keeping each other company for the very limited time they had together. We were meant to forget about each other eventually. But we kept in touch. We exchanged words of endearment. We said things to each other. We made each other feel good for a little while. We even joked about getting married at some point. But I knew very well there's an end to it. I just refused to believe it and instead hoped against all hopes.

He moved back to Russia a few months after, never certain if he'll be back ever. Not long after though, he was back. And it got me pumped.

I was a new hire as a finance rep for this big company when he announced his return. I couldn't get out of my new obligations. And I didn't have the money yet; so seeing Misha back then was impossible. We toyed with the idea of seeing him for Christmas or New Year at some point but I was really scared leaving work--it was not to be.

So our communication died down a little bit. We probably just spoke a little less than 10 times for the next four months. I was however consistent in viewing all options in getting over to that Indochina peninsula.

However, last week, against all logic and practicality, I finally mustered the courage to book a flight to Thailand. I asked Misha if it was alright to visit for Valentine's and he said it was fine. I'm excited. I am going to have the best Valentine's and birthday ever!

To be continued...

Next: Airport drama: the miserable kind

Read more...

About This Blog

I'm in the process of building my own website/blog and it is proving to be such an arduous task. There's just so many things about it that are testing much of my decision-making skills; e.g. name, overall design, organization, contents, etc. Well as far as the site's direction is concerned, I feel like I need to lay out a clear path and here are my two cents so far...


After a very long and careful process of thinking, asking, researching, reading, thinking again, and reading again, I finally decided on what direction I want this blog to take.

The most important factor that I took into consideration is "Am I gonna make this site an earner?" If I was going to be moving a lot and finance my trips, might as well make this blog a moneymaker, right? I've read a lot of blogs and a lot of them are plastered with maybe a bit more adverts than they ought to have. I have nothing against it, in fact a lot of bloggers are earning throught it, but I asked myself as a reader, "Am I gonna read a website like that?"

In the process of reading hundreds and hundreds of blogs, I've known myself a lot more as a reader. Out of all those materials. I realized that am more drawn into blogs that tell stories, from personal accounts. I didn't really care for guides, for budget breakdowns or for catalogues. I wanted organic blogs that I can consume as a human being that craves for stories, they be spectacular, adventurous, sad, horrible or what not. Of course, I also really care about the syntax and semantics. They help me to not be put off of a piece.

Things are not set in stone yet but for starters this blog will be about stories from experiences that I collect personally. I'll be putting a lot of pressure on my storytelling skills I guess. I hope things look up though. In the future I might put up guides, who knows? But for the mean time, I see myself doing them not.

(NOTE: I might actually end up putting this in my About This Blog Section)

P.S. What the hell is a PSN blog?

Read more...

How about Coron solo?

yup. Will post something on this later. ciao

Read more...

Graduates, it's snag-a-job season. Ryan Holliday of New York Observer, a dropout, has a word or two.

This morning I was in Google Adwords, trying to hit the ground running on my hatchling-stage blogging. I was playing around with keywords (or phrase) "my first job out of college" when I came across "snag a job". At first I laughed at the coarseness of the term and mainly because I was not familiar with it at all and it honestly sounded a bit ghetto. It turned out to be the most-searched phrase when it comes to job hunting though.

So for some reason I hit the keywords "how I snagged a job out of college" (I don't remember how it came to me but it just did) in google. And then this came out in the first page: "Dear Graduates: Lessons from a college dropout". Ryan Holliday, a college dropout did have some inspiring words to give out to the people of the moment, the graduates. Then it hit me. After all the pomp and circumstance, each one of us have had that moment where we're confronted with the question, "Now what?", overwhelmed (or distraught maybe?) at the prospects (or the lack thereof) of staying straight in the path to fulfilling dreams.

PHOTO: Graduates tossing cap in the air. (Paul Bradbury/Getty Images)

Personally, as well as it is a series of challenges, I believe that life is also determined by decisions after another. We fail at them most of the time, but of course we learn in the process.

And then of course he has this one line that appealed to me the most:

"...don’t wait for your dream job. These things aren’t gifted, they ensue as a result of our choices. We will them into existence."

Read more...

LAST AFC Challenge Cup (2014)

Yes, you read that right! It's the last!

Philippine Azkals just lost the AFC Challenge Cup 2014 to Palestine by a free kick! (anger)

And people on twitter are trying to look smart (or probably just as the usual delusional Filipino character when loosing) by false-hopedly creating a trend:
2012 - 3rd place
2014 - 2nd place
2016 - Champions?

And Im like: umm yeah, cuz in some other alternate timelines there'll be a 2016 AFC Challenge Cup.

Well, bad news, this is the last! There'll be no more redeeming this year that could have been. It should have been a motivation enough for the Azkals. But no, they don't know how to dribble! I'm actually a bit surprised they can actually move the ball. hahaha. I'd like to give more credit of the survival of the team to Phil and Muller. Those two deserve so much more than just a second place.

Don't get me wrong though. I was so thrilled for this team. With the absence of North Korea (which has World Cup experience) from the tournament, the title was up for grabs by any team really. It got everyone pumped up. And then of course we owned serious contenders: 2012 1st runner-up Turkmenistan and 2014 host Maldives. In the 2012 tournament, we actually beat Palestine for third place. So the title was looking more like Philippines' for the taking. And then of course free kick happened. And Rota doesn't know how to dribble. It was embarrassing!

With the dissolution of the AFC Challenge Cup, the Philippines' (and actually everyone's in Asia) only chance at Asian Cup is through a Qualifying Tournament. This will be tougher for PHL. And we might be waiting a long time before PHL debuts in Asian Cup. For anyone concerned, winning AFC Challenge Cup was actually the easiest route for countries categorized in the 3rd tier (or as what AFC calls "emerging nations"). For example, Philippines wasn't even given a chance to enter the Qualifying tournament for the 2015 Asian Cup. Plus, Asian Cup happens every four years. So by the next time the PHL team even gets a chance at entering the tournament (2019), Phil Younghusband would be 31! (and I would be mf 30!!!) So yeah, let's cry more for this chance lost...  T__T

So, with the AFC overhauling the Asian tournaments in the future, the only tournament that could keep the Azkals busy for the mean time is the AFF Suzuki Cup (biennial), which they can actually win if they have the right motivation and talents. If the FIFA rankings truly represents the goodness of right now, Vietnam is actually the only country above us in the AFF region. Other than that, chances at major international showing for PHL Azkals is looking bleak, save for the mediocre, special, selective, team-sponsored pseudo-tournaments.

But who knows? Maybe the Philippine team can actually make this lost tournament a turning point. Maybe we'll get more and better talents (but please save Phil and Muller). Maybe we'll get more funding. Maybe football will level with basketball and boxing as popular sports in the country. Maybe we'll dominate AFF. Or AFC. Maybe we'll debut in the Asian Cup sooner than we expect. There are a lot of maybe's for now. But each is a promise. Hey, each one has to build from ground up. For the mean time, Asian Cup 2015 is happening without a team from the Southeast Asia.

Read more...

Digital Footprint: From ego search to deleting yourself from the internet.

Trying to get my name unsearchable online. How to? Will be the subject of my personal research the next few days.

http://www.smh.com.au/digital-life/digital-life-news/how-robb-lewis-is-helping-web-users-erase-their-digital-footprint-with-justdeleteme-website-20140308-34e1v.html

How Robb Lewis is helping web users erase their digital footprint with Justdelete.me website

Sydney Mordning Herald

justdelete.me

Read more...

TV personalities are not good role models

(will get into details later. For the meantime, I'll list the ones on top of my head ala Arya Stark. In Arya Stark POV, these personalities should be killed altogether so as to bottleneck their influence on Filipino mass culture.)

Filipino Drama/Teleserye.
Robin Padilla.
Kris Aquino.
Claudine Barretto. (all the Barrettos actually)
Marian Rivera.
Tito, Vic and Joey. (most esp. Tito)
Willie Revillame.
Vhong Navarro.
Most PBB contestants in their teens.
Most of Philippine TV actually.
Politicians.
Filipino drama again.

Read more...

I swear I lived

Wow. OneRepublic is scoring so high on my list of songs that inspire. I actually like how they're building a portfolio of feel-good tracks. Usually, when I'm having a banner day and needs turning around emotionally, I just put on tracks like "Good Life", "Feel Again", "Counting Stars" and "If I Lose Myself". I don't regret the choices. They always make me feel better about myself. For a moment, I don't regret the bad choices I've made in life because at the end of the day, they cannot be undone. Sadness cannot be helped, it's an emotion but what matters is recovery. And weirdly, OneRepublic helps me up in more times than I care to admit. I'm glad that another song is being added to that repertoire.

Anyway, I just heard the song for the first time on one of the admittedly most guilty-pleasure tv shows I watch, 90210 (Yeah, I know. Let's all laugh at the remaining person on earth who still watches 90210). Anyway, it was a series finale episode and this played. It was also timely that I'm getting so much shit in my life lately. I needed some sort of validation that no matter what comes off of what I do, I can ultimately say that I did it all... And I lived. This song made me, it made all the world of difference. Here it is. It's from their latest album, "Native". It's called, "I Lived".

Read more...

The Year Ahead

Just yesterday, I had a serious life conversation with a friend over chat. We talked about how at our age we haven't had any significant achievement yet. We felt really behind compared to a lot of other people from our generation. Just look at 23-year old Kevin Durant who already made a name for himself in the NBA. But in a far more realistic sense, a lot of our peers are already working their way to achieving great things. And I really, really feel ashamed for all those years that I know were wasted. I could have been helping my family earn income by now. Instead, I am still one of their dependents. So as I'm headed to my last semester of undergrad, I have set a few things for accomplishing. These are things I need to remind myself that a year or two from now, these are the things I wanted to have happened by then. I want to see if I lived up to my own expectations.

1. Defend Thesis and Graduate 1st Sem
Right now is May and I have well over 5 months of experimenting, modeling and writing. Have an outlet of practicing the writing, e.g. this blog, part-time writing jobs, etc. Also, read at least 2 papers a day and summarize important points in an index card. Make sure full attention is given to all subjects left.

2. SPP 2013
The deadline is around September 2013. Write what you can about a small section of the thesis topic. Probably write about possible extensions of the topic. Remember that in the Philippine setting, your technique is novel. Collaborate with other people from the lab for more authorships.

3. UPM Induction
By first semester, get back into fitness training. You will also need all your skills and UPM knowledge training back to push for October induction in UPM. Remember that this was one of the reasons you were a CS for a sem last year. You had UPM tasks ahead of you so you always had the urgency to finish academic stuff earlier. Nice trick, wasn't it?

4. Grad School
You might have the worst undergrad records but you have three superiors that are ultra supportive so just give it a try. Take time to decide whether to take Physics or MSE.

5. CSE Exam
About time you get civil service license. Please, topnotch! Read on public policies and concerns esp. current events, foreign policies, trade policies, etc. And practice forming a strong opinion on each topic.

6. Asian Universities application period: Oct 2013 - March 2014
this: http://www.scholars4dev.com/3693/korean-government-scholarships-for-international-students/
Hong Kong, Taiwan, Singapore or Korea are the favorable destinations. Get IELTS (1 for Asia + 1 for Europe)

7. European Universities application period: mid-Oct 2013 (calls) - Jan 2012
visit this: http://eacea.ec.europa.eu/erasmus_mundus/funding/scholarships_students_academics_en.php
and this: http://www.studyinsweden.se/Scholarships/SI-scholarships/The-Swedish-Institute-Study-Scholarships/#idx_3
and this: http://www.studyinsweden.se/Scholarships/Scholarship-Challenges/
and this: http://www.mamaself.eu/
or this: http://www.master-imacs.org/
or this: http://www.u-picardie.fr/mundus_MESC/index.php
or this: http://www.emmi-materials.eu/spip.php?article71
or this: http://mahara.eet.bme.hu/view/view.php?id=313&showmore=1

Schengen Area, Order of Preference:
   1. Scandinavia esp. Sweden
   2. France
   3. Spain/Portugal/Italy
   4. Germany/Netherlands/Switzerland

8. ...?

Read more...

Dear Friend (perks of being a wallflower ang peg)

I don't know exactly what to say. But this week has been a torment. Let's just say it all ends in "Life is unfair." I have treated it with a lot of admiration and respect and all I get in return is a shitload in the face.

All the same, death is unfair. I have been asking to be taken and it gets a friend who didn't want and deserve to die. Hey death, I'm asking you one more time, please just get me and be done with it. I would want an abrupt and painless death but if you say otherwise, I can live with slow and painful. Ha! Pun intended.

Read more...

Ang Stress ng 151 (ever since, stat mech)

Nagising akong 8:30 today na may 1 missed call at 1 text from someone nagtatanong: "Anong oras ang finals natin sa 151? At anong coverage?"

And then boom! It hit me. Ngayong tinanong na ni classmate, saka ko na-realize from top of my head na shit! 7am nga pala ang exam. All this time while reviewing the past few days, I was looking forward to a 9am exam, why?

Dali-dali: 10 minutes na ligo, 5 minutes na bihis at pagkatagal-tagal na pag-aayos ng buhok (roughly).

Habang papuntang NIP, minamap-out ko na sa utak ko anong mga excuses na ibibigay ko sa prof at ang paghingi ng 30mins para matapos ang isang pang-2hour na exam. At sinisisi na rin ang sarili deep inside kung bat pa naidlip ng mga 6:30am, galing sa all-nighter na pagrereview. Naiimagine ko na rin ang worst possible shit: I've been working so hard for this tapos maze-zero lang ako? But I kept calm.

10 minutes past 9 pagdating ng research wing, halos wala nang tao sa NIP. So pumunta straight sa office ni Sir. And then ang pambungad kong tanong, "Sir magpa-finals ba ako in the first place?" Matagal ko na ding tanong yan.

Hindi kasi naglabas ever ng exam results si sir prior to this week. So by the time nag-start ang hell week, I just went straight into loser mode. Buong araw nasa dorm nagso-solve ng mga problems. Lalabas na lang ng mga 2 or 3pm para mag-breakfast at dinner na din. Babalik sa dorm ng 5 tapos review ulit, mga magdamagan na to. Other stuff, I ignored. I cancelled UPM application. Ni hindi ako nag-review for Bio finals. Leading up to last night nga na super confident na akong mape-perfect ko na ang exam. Well, except for the fact that I missed the exam already.

So, si Sir, pointed sa isang tambak ng mga papel. (I was expecting naman na bibigyan niya ako ng kahit 30minutes lang) "Tingnan mo exams mo!" And boom! Ang lago ng scores na hindi ko in-expect. One look and I knew then that I didn't really need to take the finals nga. So dapat nga masiyahan na nga ako and all diba? But no!

First of all, maganda ang outcome, flying colors and all. Pero marami lang akong nai-sacrifice para sa finals exam na to. I was looking forward to this. 2 weeks in the making, isinantabi ko ang napakaraming bagay. Not complaining at all, na-anticipate ko din naman ang mga ganitong sacrifices ever since pa, the puyat, the gutom, etc. Para lang kasing they went all for nothing. Haha! Well, except na-enjoy ko din naman yung pag-aaral. Tapos ang sad lang nung sobrang inignore ko talaga ang application ko sa UPM. I was looking forward pa naman ma-induct as early as October. Pero I had to defer and wait til next year pa for another chance. Haaay...

I guess the takeaway is at least makaka-move forward na ako sa 152, ang last Physics major ko (hopefully) sa isang naaapakahaba at naaaapaka-eventful na undergrad life ko.

Read more...

The Perfect Excuse

So I learned, I will be working on a new topic for undergraduate thesis. I think this is the 4th I am changing one. I guess I would have to postpone the Bohol trip for the mean time. I just don't deserve to have a vacation at the moment. After the unsuccessful trials on the first three topics? No. But I am more positive that regardless of what topic is assigned to me, I got it in the bag. No other degree-less human being on that institute is more knowledgeable of x-rays than me. I practically breathe x-rays every friggin' day. So cheers to 2013 graduation! And I would've scheduled my out of country vacation by then. Boom!

Video for the day!  

"Villages" by Alpine. This is pretty awesome in a freaky way.

Read more...

Majorana fermions

I was reading this article (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/05/120515094136.htm) about a condensed matter physics breakthrough called topological insulators which mainly focused on the material Bismuth Selenide, which according to the article has yet the lowest electron-phonon coupling even when approaching room temperature. And then all the way to the end part, a potentially major discovery by a group of Chinese scientists is mentioned. A superconductor material is layered onto the surface of the topological insulator and theoretically you create a particle that is its own antiparticle. Now that's sick! I just needed it published here to remind myself that one day, as a much improved and matured scientist, I will probably have to deal with this topological insulators myself. And I needed to remember the name of the new particle, "Majorana fermions". I wonder who came up with the name? It's not very flattering.

(Image Lifted from http://www.mnn.com/sites/default/files/MajoranaFermion_main_0416.jpg )

Read more...

Bacolares and Sweets

As an opening remark, I just want to address some people who managed to ruin an otherwise remarkable and self-fulfilling day. Dude, if you want to have fun, go have fun! But don't shove your brand of fun into other people's throat! I am frankly disappointed that we are living in an environment conducive to all kinds of preferences and yet some of you still manage to be insensitive self-serving idiots!

There you have it, my ultra-negative rant for the day. But other than that, I had a self-rediscovery or maybe self-realization day. For the past few days, I have been very lethargic, lazy, sad maybe, totally spaced out, tired, irritable, a little sick probably. But there has been something bothering me already that have been very difficult for me to see that I would often resort to smoking, drinking coffee too much, jogging unscheduled-ly, and sleep like log in random places and at random time. But I knew I wanted to be sick. I wanted to get drunk. I wanted to get tired from a dance central arcade. I knew I wanted something new to get me energized but I just didn't knew how.

So, today, out of all the randomness that had happened or I forced to happen for the last couple of days, I found myself crying and laughing, all at the same time with some of my very close friends and colleagues. We were going to want to hear from an ate about what's been bothering her lately because she too seemed irritable. She denied or chose to not burden us with the knowing but she burst into tears. And then another ate burst into tears. And then the next thing I know I burst into tears as well. But we were laughing!

After that little hormonal outburst, it felt good. I realized I made it a goal for the summer to take care of my physical health but I forgot to take care of my emotional health. You see, I've been tired, I've been frustrated and I've been sad. But it all didn't seem to matter when I had tasks that needed my taking care of: thesis experiments, paperworks, errands, paperworks. It wasn't when I haven't been getting success at my thesis experiments. I have been walking from building to building for days. I have been sleeping late. I haven't been opening my readings. I've been harboring all this heavy emotions and I didn't even have the slightest hint of their existence. But the frustration, the fatigue, exhaustion, and loneliness, it all culminated into this small round-table gathering of people close to me, crying and laughing, all at the same time. But like I said, I never felt better.

As an ending to this crazy story, I wanna share a cool Bobby McFerrin video I found a few days ago titled "Don't Worry, Be Happy"; and highlight the line, "In every life we have some trouble, but when you worry you make it double." Here it is:




P.S. I bought a bacolares plant.

Read more...

A Quote from "Life Itself" by Roger Ebert

Yes, I'm a fan of Roger Ebert. I'll probably have to explain that a little later. Anyway, reading one of his articles, I noticed one of the comments which happen to quote a bit from his book "Life Itself". I just found the thought so nice. And never realize that this is actually spot on. And if only humanity has a little more sense of responsibility of each other's accords, that world peace we've been fantasizing all along wouldn't be too far-fetched. So here's the quote:

"I believe that if, at the end, according to our abilities, we have done something to make others a little happier, and something to make ourselves a little happier, that is about the best we can do. To make others less happy is a crime. To make ourselves unhappy is where all the crime starts. We must try to contribute joy to the world. That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances. We must try."

Read more...

2D Plane Wave, y=Acos(kr-kvt)

Im starting to get the hang of this 3d plotting, I think Im gonna build a career out of it. lol. But it's really fun to finally have the power to put into visualization all these Physics equations we've been dealing since since. Coded in Python Mayavi.

Read more...

Mayavi is My Bitch: What I've been doing lately at the expense of my weekends.

What I've been doing lately at the expense of my weekends! By the way, this is the very first gif I've made and it was from a mesh program I did thru Python Mayavi. Codes are from manual. I just thought the animation is cool. It's why I'm posting this here for the lack of anything else interesting to post. I'm trying to mesh a stereographic profile of a pyramid-textured silicon. Hopefully, that's the next stuff I'll be posting here if the thesis regulations allow it. That's it for today. Back to my robot ways. 101010101010. Exterminate! Exterminate!

Read more...